Last month, I spelled my name wrong. C-o-u-r-t-e-n-y. I was in a hurry and writing quickly, and didn't even think about it until later, when I noticed the n and the e were switched. It made me pause, and my first thought was, “I am 27 years old, and I can’t spell my name.” But then I remembered I have dyslexia and it's something that I deal with every single day.

Last week, my mom gave me some of my old notebooks from when I was 8 years old. I cried laughing reading some of the entries, not being able to believe how bad my spelling used to be. It took me back to grade school when spelling tests and getting called on in class were the scariest things in the world. But I had forgotten just how bad my dyslexia was. Looking at my diary entries made me reflect, and I was saddened thinking about how lost and confused I felt in class. “Dear” spelled “daer” and “watch” spelled “woche” was funny, but also concerning, given I was 8 years old when those entries were written. These two letters I was trying to write to Mr. A, my elementary school principal, were something that I gave up on and never finished because it was too difficult for me to get past the first sentence. 

I learned how to cope with my learning disabilities because I had a strong support system, and eventually it became something I was so used to, I forgot how painful it had been to spell. It's still not my strong suit, and I mix up numbers and words all the time, but it's not something that makes me scared anymore. After grade school, I was in honors classes in high school and went to college and then an MFA, and I still use all my little tricks to keep numbers and letters straight that I learned in elementary school. I could have easily been written off as a dumb child, slower than the other kids, but through my family and my school system, I improved. If my teachers and parents had not tested me for learning disabilities, I would never have had the chance to learn from my disadvantage. I feel proud of myself and the progress I have made in life, even if I can't spell my name right all the time.